“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. We’re advising all of our clients to invest all their resources into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” This piece of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, talking, glasses-wearing member of the slimy Gremlin horde that infests Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s nothing more than an financial suggestion from one monster to another. But, in a strange manner, it’s also pretty solid life advice. Honestly, listen to my reasoning.
When situations deteriorate, the biggest mistake you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin grasps this. Actually, a large portion of the toothy monsters that occupy Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (debateably his greatest) possess the same wry, meta comic sensibility regarding the indistinct border separating the mundane and absolute bedlam. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and with the passage of time, it’s the theme that strikes the deepest chord.
Naturally, my attachment to this movie did not begin on such an philosophical plane. In my youth, we possessed merely a few battered VHS tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve almost certainly acquired from an non-chain rental store and sporting grimacing beasts on its knackered cover. I was instantly captivated and these films wasted no time inserting themselves inside my small, malleable brain. From then on, they became an practically routine part of my youthful watching schedule.
Dante’s first film usually receives all the praise, thanks largely to its status as a partly frightening holiday classic – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins on countless occasions. Nevertheless, its follow-up rarely gets the same level of elevated esteem, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d seclude myself indoors and pop it in. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. Gradually, it ingrained itself in my mental framework. If my parents observed this fixation, they didn’t seem to mind.
As I got older, new understandings enriched frequent screenings, amplifying the pleasure of watching small emerald creatures gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the ahead-of-its-time real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by future president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his former spouse Marla Maples. Fortunately, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his actual-world equivalent.
The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during maximum monster mayhem? I discovered it was modeled after a actual “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film different iterations of a self-referential segment where Gremlins hijack the exact movie you are viewing. An edit for movie houses, one for VHS and TV, each providing a grinning portion of self-referential entertainment sorcery prior to the concept being mainstream.
While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that caught my eye as a child, this hidden treasure kept me hooked as an adult. Ultimately, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no reservations informing me he made the movie with the specific aim of ridiculing those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This anarchic insubordination and commitment to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only deepened my appreciation further.
When I endured a sudden family bereavement not long ago, I was astonished to realize that, during my most profound sorrow, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Maybe not. The comforting familiarity it offered was needed to weaken my mind’s grief morass – but the stuff it had imparted to me as an adult were equally valuable.
Like Gremlins running amok in a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just cannot manage. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to be like them: accept the turmoil, commit your entire being into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to take things too seriously.
It’s powerful existential guidance from a very unlikely source – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my comfort movie.
A tech analyst and business strategist with over a decade of experience in global markets, specializing in digital transformation and innovation.
