Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.
My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.
Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.
She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.
She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.
I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.
She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.
I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.
I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.
I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.
Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.
I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.
I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.
I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.
This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.
Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?
Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25
When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26
She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27
It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53
She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71
Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?
A tech analyst and business strategist with over a decade of experience in global markets, specializing in digital transformation and innovation.
